I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
