what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
