You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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