She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did i walk over a car last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
