Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
