Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
