Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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