I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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