Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
