You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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