Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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