if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
