I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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