Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Buhtt sex?
i just had sex bonerless
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
