Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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