She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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