i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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