nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
