I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
