Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
