i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
