I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
