Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
