hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
