do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
