i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
