The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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