I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
