man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
