Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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