We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
