shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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