I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
