I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize