my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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