do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
