I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
