JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I supernannyed him into submission
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
