We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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