My first STD was from a foam party
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
