I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?