How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.