I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?