we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems