I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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