I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
