I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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