I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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