Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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