I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
