I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
