i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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