their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
