Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
