He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize