Are we in a gay sports bar?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
