why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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