I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize