Your tits are I can't wait for
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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