If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
