You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
two words: eviction party
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
