if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think I died a long time ago.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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