Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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