You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
